I don’t know if you still read this

but if you do…can we talk?

I’m feeling somewhat lost the way the night fizzled out. We never really got a chance to talk or catch up or have some quiet time together. I have an awful fear that one situation and my response to it will cause you to travel further in to the shadows of my life, when for a while I thought a beacon of hope had been spied amongst the trees.

I can’t stop running certain events of that night through my mind…certain looks people gave me…utterances made…wishful thinking on others behalves. Was I seeing all that was not really there?

All I have left is…what if?